P is for Pizza the Propel Party at Pimbo

It was a third race HQ in as many years for the annual HMCC road race as having visited Glenburn Sports College in 2015 and the JMO last year we were off to the Labour Club at the east end of the town as Digmoor morphs in Upholland. I can only guess that means we are off to Delph Side next year once the Activ8 Glenburn football pitches get moved, but at least one of us has enough long socks to challenge the locals to an impromptu game of footie post race and pre Grand Prix. The big prize in offer today was the HMCC road race championship once again held over 20 laps of the Pimbo Race circuit. We didn't have any entrants from our club prior to signing on but Tony Harvey who always seems to be at the top 10 end of every Parkrun he enters (at the age of 57 no less) took number 53 and joined around 60 others in the only warm place to be, given that the pleasant sunshine from my morning run in hashtag half ironman mode had gone and would be replaced by driving rain and strong winds throughout the race. Luke delegated roles to everyone who was needed at the few corners on the circuit while I prepared to tackle a third lap board in as many years. This one was the easiest so far to operate but we would need more than a few props to get the b****r to sit still in the nasty conditions. Nevertheless the riders rocked up at the start come 8:50, one entrant having been traumatised by the sight of a couple of us looking for bushes (must have been the coffee powering my energy systems onwards after the morning run) but this rider would make a name for himself in a very different way later. For now here's the IPA (Independent Pimbo Almanac) taking you through how it all played out lap after lap.

Lap 1: The riders set off quite tentatively in the slippery conditions as three riders dropped off the back almost immediately. It wasn't Joe Hanlon though as he was on hand to chat about two day stage racing with Rick the Legend Taylor. He in turn must remember his exploits on the Wigan 10k exactly three years ago while enjoying himself in Croatia; too bad he didn't stick at it while Luke Jackson combines Endurance Store podium hunting with organising a bike race..........anyway Declan from Liverpool Century, who didn't even complete the first lap of the 2015 edition, was leading by a staggering 20 seconds. Could he set a new record for longest YOLO ever?

Lap 2: Luke arrived with his own personal caffeine supply in a grey and pink tumbler, apparently those of us over 30 understand them to be flasks. Mark le Titch appeared with a rock and some rubber bands to hold down the numbers on the lap counter. What a guy.

Lap 3: Declan was now ahead by 28 seconds in his own race. He's giving Rick a run for his money when it comes to crazy attacks early doors as in the John Cavanagh Memorial he got away by over 40 seconds. Maybe we should have put a few primes in for extra YOLOING?

Lap 4: Declan was now being closed down by the main field. The lead was down to 18 seconds while a bit of four wheeled traffic was building up on the course. And fittingly, Luke was first to the fruit cake supplied by his wife Nikki. Who has presumably got a similar lock on her job for the next 50 years as me with the lap counter and blogspot.

Lap 5: Declan was reeled in once and for all as a lorry passed. Now Cervelo S5 man (so common those) was leading the field. Mark le Titch was mulling over a mass coffee grab from Hotter shoes, while we also learn that Paul Moy was out this morning but didn't have his licence on him.

Lap 6: The break was now swerving around a bit. Luke picked up an airhorn from a race vehicle (testing, 1 2 3 etc). Nowhere was safe from rainwater and I didn't want to kill two phones in as many months so I hid under the canopy to update the blog. Another lorry went past, unable to pass our mate in the Skoda.

Lap 7: Two new leaders were now 11 seconds to the good while the lorries continued to lose to the Skodas and cyclists out and about. An interesting bit of aero analysis came from Luke who's been testing ski bend aerobars and found them to be 20 seconds faster at Rainford! That's him off to the Endurance Store for some running shoes then..........also Number 54 appeared to have lost his race bib.

Lap 8: Paul Moy arrived approximately half an hour too late while a leading sextet were spread as a one, a two and a three. Hardly the animals going into Noah's Ark really despite the biblically bad conditions. And now the lap counter had a mind of its own!

Lap 9: A first bit of enterprising attack from Charlie Critchley as he was now in the leading bunch intent on using his winter thermal to good effect. Almost as necessary as me actually needing sleeves when running this morning, now that's news to you. Meanwhile a small group of riders in a suspiciously familiar black and blue were coming down the YOLO straight..........

Lap 10: And it was the HMCC A group! While an Identiti rider retired, Number 54 argued with the commisaires and the wind started gusting harder than ever, the eight strong A team got the YOLO treatment from GUESS WHO but I was trying to multitask balancing that with writing notes, working the lap counter and surveying Mark's choice coffee and cake, but I went for Nikki's oat bar. Didn't want too much sugar early doors. You think being heavy is hard when chasing the Race group up hills, try having reactive hypoglycemia.............

Lap 11: The first signs that this would be a race for a good sized breakaway as no fewer than 14 riders struck out off the front, including Charlie. With points on offer down to 15th it appeared as though those in the bunch were simply fighting for a single point at the line. Phil Macdonald appeared in the support far and the A group didn't appear to be going anywhere..........

Lap 12: With a brief break in the weather I went to show Mr Pink Socks the tropical house shoes Sigala would be proud of. The breakaway's lead was increasing and it was looking increasingly unlikely that anyone else would join them. Ste decided he would buy a pair of my shoes in town tomorrow provided they made a size small enough for him and Tony was still pushing hard, what a legend.

Lap 13: The break was now 45 seconds ahead just as their likely suppliers, a Go Pro Gym can went past, did they have EPO in there? Another downpour and some more gusts of wind brought back fond memories of Widnes two weeks ago, which itself would be a great course for a bike race.

Lap 14: The main field was awake again but it would surely be too little too late. After all they were about a minute behind. Meanwhile Mark had the coffee ready, which was very well received even when drank black a la Truestart (you must have seen my team vest from those guys, the one with the eagle logo on)

Lap 15: A Muller yoghurt lorry completed its pilgrimage from Market Drayton to Skelmersdale as the leaders now had 54 seconds confirmed by the race referee. Linsey arrived not too surprised to hear I was giving her good friend Petra advice on tri suits. Watch out Lynchy..........

Lap 16: This conversation with Petra was more like triple tasking when trying to keep the lap counter board in one place as the conditions were now positively filthy out there. But a piece of Nikki's chocolate cake went down a treat. There wasn't far to go now after all.

Lap 17: Even the break had slowed as the surface became like an ice rink. One man in the main field seemed desperate for the last point as he attempted a break. And my fingers started to freeze up. Not good when you've got a gig to play in the afternoon but it could be worse - I could have been in the race itself.

Lap 18: Everyone looked fatigued, we were now thinking "come on Charlie hang in there". The leaders were now 61 seconds ahead while a mechanical took one rider out as he exited the final corner. Neil Pollington appeared for the first time since the race HQ - when can we go to Whalley Nab again? - and Paul and Mark returned from the Pink Socks group to begin a bit of psychological warfare with the rest of us as to who got the space under the canopy.

Lap 19: The top 14 were now over a minute and a half in front and only a pile up would stop them now. A VCUK rider chased after the final points paying position a la Max Verstappen in the Italian Grand Prix - must have been a strategic bike change or something. And the Walkers lorry appeared for the 35th time.

Lap 20: DANG A LANG A LANG went the bell, I shouted YOLO and the final lap dash was on! Charlie was in with a great chance of a top 10 now and Tony was still plugging away in the main field. It was surprisingly quiet at the start/finish line but we knew that couldn't last, we expected a short, late attack to win it............

FINISH: AND IT ALL WENT OFF! Giant Propel Man - the bloke who was traumatised by my efforts to let off steam before the race - sprinted brilliantly to cross the line first, only to take both hands off the handlebars, wobble, and send Specialized Tarmac Man to the floor in a huge bang! He wrapped up the Reject of the Race award and the poor guy on the floor didn't even get the first place either. Instead, after the Propeller was DQ'D and the timing was checked, the race win fell to a Scottish rider for the second straight year. We had to slow the main field down as they reached the line and it took a while to help Tarmac Man to his feet but eventually he was walking while his assailant offered to buy him a new skinsuit. Luke confirmed that our new Pastor Maldonado was thrown out of the results and said "let's go back to base" but I got a good discussion with Ian Roberts who's ridden with us in the past and is now looking to do more coaching. He was interested in the half ironman plan for next year and thought the choice of venue was very shrewd. After a ten minute chat I bombed round the course and back to Digmoor before turning left for the race HQ where the prize money was awarded and Charlie took home 8th place. I added a slice of coffee cake and a mini brownie to a cup of coffee, which made me seriously wired for the journey west to Southport for my gig. I just about managed to complete the rehearsal before getting a case of the shakes but luckily I had a sandwich and some reduced to 75p cookies from Sainsburys to feast on. The concert went down a storm and then it was time to head home for pizza, beer and the Italian Grand Prix to round off a third successive success of a HMCC road race. Let's go for four in a row next year!

Now for the results, brought to you by Mark le Titch's Hotter Shoes:

Distance: 20 laps of Pimbo
Time: about 90 minutes
Winning Country: Scotland making it two in a row
Best Local Rider: Charlie Critchley in 8th
Crashes: 1 spectacular after the finish line
Cakes Consumed: 4, silly me
Coffees Drank: 3, even more silly me
Craziest Moment of the Day: The ROTR winning move by someone who's got such great taste in aero road bikes (lucky b*****d)

REJECT OF THE RACE: Giant Propel Man
(It's been a bonkers summer holiday for me and that just put the tin lid on it)

And finally............

A massive that you to Luke Jackson for stepping up and organising the event, without our number 1 contributor to the local racing scene the second edition in 2016 would have been the last. Don't know how he does all that while tinkering with his S5 and learning to run, I mean what kind of daft person tries to do three things at once? Also well done to Nikki, Claire, Sue and Cathy for their cake baking expertise and also what a job by the marshals to stand out in such awful conditions. Well done to all who took part as well, and see you in 2018!