S is for Saline, Scissors and Smashed it in South Cheshire

For the fourth round of my 2014 race schedule I made the trip south to picturesque Nantwich for the ever-popular Go Green Cheshire Triathlon. This event regularly attracts over 500 entrants and sets the men off first followed by a separate, later race for ladies and relay teams. After negotiating the two transitions much more easily than 18 months ago, when I got totally lost in a housing estate en route to the start, I could park the Slice between a Cube Aerium and a Fuji Norcom in the "rolling" pit lane (by that I mean only 50 bikes in there at any time). The sun could hardly have been brighter as I dropped my bike shoes off at poolside and, after a short briefing including news of the reversed bike course and the roadblocks that proved to be of the phantom variety, we could set off at 20-second intervals.

Right from the off I felt strong in the pool; I thought this pool was fast in September 2012 but I was positively gliding through the first 4 lengths. Two prangs happened either side of the halfway point though. First, I misjudged a pass down the middle of the lane and had someone's head bounce off mine; just as well it was most likely a member of the MACCL Midgets Division or that might have been my race over immediately. During the third lane (lengths 9-12) my swim cap worked loose and I had to swim half a length punching the water extremely inefficiently until I could remove it and stuff it down the back of my tri-suit. Calling Matt: are those ABC swim caps white? Given all the problems I faced, I was astonished to pass the timekeepers having not even clocked 10:30 yet (my 2012 time was 11:44!) I could now happily put my bike shoes on having got my heart rate up nicely and, after a short run to our bikes, it was helmets on, pedals clipped in and away we went for 20km into the great Cheshire countryside.

By now you know I love these courses; certainly more than the blasts down the Fylde promenades. This year, though, we would go in the opposite direction to 2012, so the early miles after leaving the town centre would include the climb past Rookery Hall, where I once took my mum for afternoon tea (well she did let me have an hour in the Specialized Concept Store) In these early miles I found it easy to get a strong if not consistent pace up, such was the roughness and undulating nature of the terrain. As such I passed numerous light and heavy road bikes, and later on I caught the Fuji Norcom rider as well as someone on a Pro-Lite TT bike. I also passed someone who'd mutilated his Cervelo S5 with a pair of Chinese carbon wheels! Surely if you buy an S5 you give it the Enve treatment, no? With him nicely dispatched I could concentrate on the pothole-strewn roads either side of the railway bridge, but just as I thought I'd seen it all a bloke was weaving all over the road on a blue Specialized Allez, wearing pink. I shouted "RIGHT SIDE GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!" but in fact he wasn't even in the race; instead he must have been the new recruit for the Scissor Sisters as he pulled a pink scarf - or was it arm warmer? - out of his pink top and started cheering us on in much the same way the lunatics do when the Tour or the Giro passes through their village. Well, it's nice to feel like Nairo Quintana once in a while. The roadwork lights were on red but no cars were coming so the marshals waved us through, and from here it was only two more miles to the final set of roundabouts, where all the traffic was mercifully going the other way. After a bit of late braking for the "cyclists dismount" line I could jump off having set a time around three minutes quicker than in 2012 (results not in yet these are taken from my running watch). That's what dog-eat-dog fights on the Roman Road Challenge make you; a better rider and a better person too.

T2 is pretty much rehearsed for me nowadays; lob the bike on the rack, helmet and shoes off ASAP and them assume you'll end up on your derriere while putting racing flats on. That made for a speedier swap over than in Wilmslow three weeks ago and, after a gulp of water I was onto the grounds of Barony Park for four laps in the ever-rising heat. The first lap was a bit of a struggle to get the legs turning quickly enough, but then again I was trying the course out for the first time in a long while. Passing plenty of runners who I would later lap (!) spurred me on though, and I came across various runners big and small, including a member of the MPC team, who amazingly was on a Moda and not Dave Sims' chopper! Actually the chopper would have been more use than a MTB rider who was officiating the course and checking nobody tried to take a shortcut.......On the last lap I saw my time was coming up to 1:02 and I knew I was on for a new PB, but by how much? Could I really do a sub-1:07 with my mouth drying up so much I couldn't even swallow my own saliva? I attacked the last incline, measured my pace all the way to the hairpin turn, and from here it was one last beast effort to the final left-hander, before a mad sprint for the line to chase down the man who started two minutes before me. I missed him by a single second, nonetheless putting me well ahead of him in the final standings. I even got a good chat with him after the race as his wife was about to set off herself. I do hope they weren't too late getting home, I got stuck in such a long tailback on the A51 that I re-routed to Frodsham for the best post-race nutrition ever. Read on for more details..........In any case it was a perfect day out, where I finished the Cheshire Triathlon in an unofficial time of 1:06:10 (according to my watch) which, if correct, would give me an improvement of 6:37 over the 2012 race! Anyone want to join me at the 2015 edition?

Now for the results, brought to you by Amore Bar and Restaurant, Frodsham:

Distances: 500m/20k/5k
Total time: approx. 1:06:10 (official results to follow)
The most important stat: A NEW PB
TT Bikes overtaken: 2
Lunatic Fans: 1
UK Triathlon Members to be sacked: Just the DJ (for playing O** D*****ion and a load of others I can't remember instead of Hardwell and Avicii)
Next purchase: A bright swim cap in XL size (insert big-head joke here)
Post Race Nutrition: 10/10 (Pepperoni picante pizza plus a J20 and latte at the aforementioned restaurant - off to work now otherwise I would have had a beer too. Also, good chat with Mike the DJ and Steve the dwarf who came in on their mountain bikes)

REJECT OF THE RACE: The Scissor Sisters' new recruit
(For being amusing and extremely dangerous at the same time - LOOK IN YOUR MIRRORS!)

Back to a few more week's training now, with maybe a 10 or two thrown in. Next triathlon is in Macclesfield on 3 August - at this rate of improvement I'm even wondering if it might be worth throwing in a trip to the stunning Welsh village of Llanrwst on 31 August for a real grand day out. Anyone else like the idea of a race followed by a bit of rarebit?