The Saturday Showdown Scorcher 2016

Round 4 of my 2016 racing season carried on pretty much the same way the 5k run at the St Annes Triathlon left off, in hot, muggy conditions at today's Phoenix CC Open 10 on the Rainford course. This was the one which I was effectively "the second host" for as although Gemma's well-versed in the ins and outs of testing, we also had two newbies going against the clock, those being Emma and Stephen. Emma had managed to commandeer a Kuota KT05 which I'm sure Danny Shearer would approve of (more on him later) while Stephen was only too happy to take on the ten with the same setup that served him so well in Majorca; a Cannondale Synapse with no tri bars, disc brakes and a stack of spacers which could be mistaken for a stick of dynamite. I caught up with all three as I was signing on and doing my warm-up, though I was really wishing I had plain water that doesn't attract insects to your hair as really I could have done with either pouring fluid through my helmet or taking along a damp flannel to cool my core temperature down, which explains why I spent yesterday afternoon doing Tour de Maghull in the car rather than on the bike so as not to cremate myself (you still remember the embarrassing "50 climbs in 50 miles" ride last August, I take it) After one last loop of Stockley Crescent and a swallowed SIS Whey Gel, it was off to the start line for 10 miles of pure canned heat just as Stephen arrived having completed his race.

I was number 43 to set off and the officials know me so well by now that they even try a new choice line each time now as in "shall we call you BOB" (as in the rapper who teamed up Hayley Williams on that song about airplanes many years ago). The first downhill ramp is something of an airplane take-off strip, but today would be more than a little different; as I rounded the first left-hander a trailer carrying about 165 planks of wood used the wrong side of the road coming the opposite way and I was squeezed close to the kerb praying I wouldn't clip my pedal against his prized possession. I was very lucky to stay upright and countered that by accelerating to 28mph on the long straight and rolling part of the course towards the island, where I used previous knowledge to good effect and swept onto the carriageway at 25mph quickly back into the aero position just in time to wave at the snap-happy cameraman who would also take pictures of riders coming back the other way. For now I was trying to keep the speed over the 23mph mark on the approach to the M58 island and I managed to do exactly that, even though the roundabout was quite busy. Soon I was up to 28mph once more as I set off for the Elephant Island again, at least until four cars overtook me on the approach and two of them signalled LEFT towards Rainford Station. You see, cars that have indicators are good, but cars that don't have BLEEDIN' IDIOTS behind the wheel are even better. This meant I had to kick again to get to 25mph on the southerly run to Rainford Island, but cornering on the Veloflex Records is much easier than the rubber I use every day, and certainly there was no chance of a repeat of the blowout I endured on last week's 90 miler to the Cat and Fiddle. I kicked out of the roundabout and got up a better-than-usual turn of speed on the northward run into the wind, where I even got to pick off my five-minute man! I didn't feel all that fast out there today, but strength in pure mileage saved the day for me as I used the final left-turn for Intake Lane to good effect, then set about simply ticking off the remaining metres until I saw the finish line in sight, at which point one last YOLO effort to 28mph had me lunging for the chequerboard and over the line in a time of 23:20, good enough for 26th overall on the day.

It wasn't long before I was back at base watching all the times roll in thinking "I'm going to hear about this tomorrow morning if Stephen and Emma have beaten the 23 minute mark". In the event neither did but both showed what all those miles can do for your wattage as they finishing in the mid-25's while Gemma continued her good work form the Anfield 100 by getting another 10 in under the 27 minute mark before heading off to Prees for a 25 tomorrow morning. Come to think about it, if I wasn't so driven to do a long ride very Sunday I think I'd stand a better chance with an 8am start and cooler temperatures; come the evening 10's I think today's time would easily get me under 23 minutes once more. We enjoyed tea and cakes provided by the master bakers at Liverpool Phoenix and compared the older TT bikes (I wonder who's got one of those) with Gemma's upcoming steed and Emma's choice bike from the 2016 Kuota range, which is accompanied by a rather cheaper version as in the Kalibur (the one that's been around for the last 82 years and is finally getting updated for 2016/17). I then ran with the bike to the car to get home for 4pm, before a quick turnaround to get to Southport for the food and drink festival, where I would catch up with Dan near the stall selling Lancaster cider. This went extremely well with a four course "last meal" style banquet, which for me included five onion bhajis, a Diavola pizza, mini pancakes with fudge and toffee sauce and finally strawberries coated in Belgian chocolate. With my stomach rather heaving from such a huge fuel load in preparation for tomorrow I left the venue at 6:30pm to go home once more having enjoyed a great day out. More of the same over the summer months I say!

Now for the results, brought to you by Emma's new favourite bike, the Kuota KT05:

Distance: the usual

Time: 23:20

Average Speed: 41.14kmh

Final Position: 26th out of 66 finishers

Lorries: 1 driven by someone as thick as 165 short planks

Riders Overtaken: Just one but he was my five-minute man

Times caught by photographer: 2

Post Race Nutrition: 10/10 (Check that banquet out, no criminals in America could be that imaginative when choosing their last meal could they)

REJECT OF THE RACE: Lorry/Trailer Man

(So you've just passed the timekeepers; what part of "Caution Cyclists" do you NOT understand)

Next up for me: the Denbigh Triathlon on 26 June. But before that there's plenty of chances for those of you free midweek to get your "10" times down. What are you waiting for? Not for me I hope..........