R is for Racing and Rock-Climbing round the Roodee

For the 15th and final round of my 2016 race schedule I high-tailed it down the M53 today for the XLV Essar Round the Walls Race in Chester. I stopped off at Starbucks Junction 5 to enjoy a latte with the parents of a kid I used to teach piano to in Prenton, as they were on their way to the same race venue. Upon arriving in the Deva City the race venue was rather hard to find, but after parking in the Roodee car park for a 3 hours at £4 ticket I crossed the bridge and saw the "Roodee" itself, as in the other name for the Chester racecourse. As I made my way towards registration and hoped there wouldbe somewhere to store baggage I came across Heather Heighway, who I'm performing a concert with next month in Capenhurst (14 January 6pm, date in the diary now please). The cameraman from the local paper was only too happy to take our pictures as we figured out the starting grid for the course, which as it turned out would run right past where she'd parked her car. So we stored our bags in the boot, prepared a warm-up and sipped on some last-minute water for extra post-Prosecco hydration. Finally, we were called over at 10:25am for the start to line up in expected finishing group order and as 10:30 arrived, the gun sounded and the final race of 2016 was underway.

I got off to a good start in the first group of a cut-throat pack, having decided that as the "approx. 4 miles" distance wasn't equatable to a regular road race distance it wasn't a "LOOK AT ME I GOT A PB" day, rather a chance to race purely for position in the 40mph winds we faced. These were particularly apparent on the first run across the Roodee grass where we tackled the second hairpin turn, before heading out of the grounds up the hill towards the canal towpath. Now we were warned not to attempt a pass during this segment but I found myself picking off one or two fast starters so helped myself to a couple of places through the yellow flag zone and hoped that no-one would give me a stop and go penalty for illegal overtaking. Next up came the first run of steps which really took it out of me, as you need to have the confidence to get just more than the ball of your foot on each step and stride up them two by two for maximum effect. I think I got the hang of it by the end of the event, but some people who were dive-bombing the descents like they were on some sort of suicide mission caused me to lose about half a dozen places, and making them up on the flat was extremely difficult in such a strong field despite one round of "come on St Helens". Well there is a triathlon club in that city who use similar shades of blue to HMCC after all. Upon descending the steps for the last time we crossed the road which was once again expertly blocked by the marshals who let us through ahead of traffic, and our next assignment was the perimeter of the racecourse, towpath-style. Here, I was in a chop-and-change part of the leaderboard as we passed and re-passed each other for position quite regularly, including one man from Dorking and another from Liverpool Harriers. He got ahead as we re-entered the grounds and onto the grass, and it was here that the really tough part of the race unfolded, but as I was struggling so were the ones in front of me, and as we came out of the hairpin one last time there was only one thing for it: YOLO! That's right, I got past Blue Vest Man on the right-hand kink before approaching a Helsby RC competitor just as we rounded the final right-hand bend 50 metres from the line. I got a length ahead of him round the outside of the corner and despite him trying to respond, I wasn't going to be denied and did one last kick to hold on for 17th position at the line, with a time of 24:25 less than three minutes behind the runaway winner who really had won the race by the first corner; indeed I think given how slow Norse Man was running I think he would have got round the course twice quicker than the Viking would have done once (I mean who runs bare-chested in 40mph Arctic winds anyway?)

After that it was time to pick up our commemorative mugs to be filled with finest hot chocolate, a welcome treat indeed, and the cameraman put me and three other fast finishers together in another photo for the Chester Evening Leader. So that's three photoshoots completed and no cameramen knocked over; this Limar helmets deal really is working a treat isn't it? I watched a few others come in while talking to Andy who'd ridden to the race on his Norco Valence from that green-and-gold bike shop in Liverpool. He's keen to do the Oulton Park Duathlon next year so I recommended he keeps his Continental GP 4 Seasons for winter usage and buy a pair of the Schwalbe 1's I picked off Matt's shop floor on Christmas Eve. Shortly after that sales pitch he headed for home and I ran back to see how Heather had got on; indeed had she started further forward she would easily have beaten the 40-minute mark. She was on her way home as her brother was arriving for Boxing Day celebrations at lunchtime so I made my way back to the Roodee trying to keep my eyes off all the adverts for posh and expensive items you see all over the Deva city. From here I made my way home, stopping off at the Cheshire Oaks "Apres-Shop" Christmas continental market to get a chilli and garlic Bratwurst plus a couple of doughnuts to keep hunger locked up until 6pm. After one last fight through the crowds in the Asics and Under Armour stores I got back in the car, waited an eternity to get out of that overcrowded place and drove home for 2pm before booting up the computer and logging in just in time to see the Denver Broncos' title defence implode spectacularly at Arrowhead Stadium, all because they're keeping their only quarterback, Paxton Lynch, on the sidelines. Still that didn't take the shine off a great Boxing Day's racing, and I look forward to going back again next year; you couldn't really ask for a more enjoyable race in a better location without the pressure of chasing a PB.

Now for the results, in association with the best thing about Cheshire Oaks, the Apres-Shop Continental Market:

Distance: 6.4km/4 miles

Time: 24:25

Average Speed: 15.73kmh

Final Position: 17th from 493 finishers

Yellow Flag Overtakes: 2

Steps Climbed: at least 30

Vikings: 1

Post Race Nutrition: 9/10 (Chilli and garlic bratwurst plus doughnuts; stomach was too delicate for a beer otherwise it would have got a 10)

REJECT OF THE RACE: Norse Man

(He couldn't have set himself up more spectacularly for a fall if he'd tried; at least he stayed upright I suppose)

Time to put the racing shoes away for the remainder of 2016 then get started on preparing the 2017 calendar. At least I've decided how I'll finish next season though!