P is for Park and Ride at Pimbo

It's not often I report on a non-HMCC event but today was different as I skipped the Lakes ride and instead recced the HMCC Road Race course. I know what you're thinking, I've bought a size-down Cervelo S5 to beat Tom Hanlon on 4 September? No, instead it was the annual St Helens Tri Club TT Championships. It was a shame that Daniel Jones, the other red and black rider recently spotted on HMCC A group rides, wasn't there but we still managed to get 30 entrants to face the timekeeper. As a warm-up I did a steady lap of the Pimbo oval passing numerous signs for Proctor and Gamble, as well as a garden centre offering a cafe, but rather than get a caffeine fix early doors (and be re-routed to McD's in the connie) I reported back to the Saints that all was well with the course and I went to pick up my race number, which spooked me no end as 26 is the chosen one for this year's most out-of-form F1 driver Daniil Kvyat, who once again had a shocker at the German Grand Prix today and must surely be replaced soon (hint to Mclaren: Belgian Grand Prix in a month's time, loan Stoffel Vandoorne out and give him a chance now!) We lined up in starting order to be set off at 30 second intervals and while the first few set off I ate my Zipvit bar which has escaped my digestive system for three straight HMCC club runs now, but it was a case of "needs must" for Mr 5 miles to the energy bar as the tension was reaching fever pitch. Finally, with number 25 having pushed off I got myself ready, before forgetting I only had 30 seconds to get my feet in the pedals! This made for a real rush to get started but just as the "2, 1" completed the countdown the cleat engaged and I was away just in time.

My first victim was on a Kuota Kharma, and he was on his second lap as I entered the first corner. This meant I had to pass him on the left just as you would NOT on a track but it quickly became apparent that the slight uphill drags would be very difficult indeed as the back end of Pimbo is rather exposed and over the bridge I dipped worryingly to 22mph. Had I not warmed up properly or am I just rubbish at early morning TT's? Gemma Webster, over to you. Anyway, I decided "SHUT UP LEGS" and came off the last corner to begin the long plunge down the pitstraight and complete lap 1 of 5, which was uplifting as I rounded up three people at once, and even more fun was just around the corner, literally, as a red lorry zoomed past and blocked the headwind at the start-finish line for me before going round Turn 1 like a box on wheels. This gave me every incentive to save as much energy as possible, at least until he remembered where his indicator was and moved to pull left for one of the industrial sites on the left. Luckily I jumped out well before this and used the speed boost to good effect over lap 2 as I came across more fast starters who were already paying for their early enthusiasm, but once again the bridge crossing on both this and the third lap was dropping me to 22mph, seriously worrying for the pre-determined target of a sub-25 time. Even this in itself wouldn't be a best-ever average speed as Rainford has been kinder to me in the past, but I continued passing people on the way round and this raised my spirits enough to wave both at Wayne Fisher, who was taking photos at the lay-by just after the first corner, and Mystery Man in the subway who I spotted at the bridge crossing presumably having gone for breakfast at the golden arches. I raised a finger to acknowledge the start of the last lap and thought, well, sod the afternoon training, THIS is what it's all about so I go for it NOW. My lap splits had been on the cusp of a sub-25 time but I thought I might have a chance to go a bit quicker and on the final descent onto the pit straight I got to 32mph as riders appeared all over the road passing each other. The best bit was coming across a more modern version of the Cannondale Slice, this one being the 2016 green edition with Di2, and we got a nice little sprint finish as we approached the chequerboard, where I shouted "26" and rolled into the lay-by/meeting place where the earlier finishers were congregated so we could compare times. At first one or two riders were thought to have either got lost out on the course or been squashed by a lorry/mad motorist but eventually all 30 were accounted for and we enjoyed a nice cool-down lap to finish before pottering down Potter Place and the club gazebo.

The chocolate tiffin slices were very popular, as were Christine's cupcakes, particularly the Oreo cookie ones, and the juice was particularly rehydrating to those who'd done their pre-TT race prep on the back of six pints and then "oh shall we go for a curry" (that WASN'T me, I just overheard it). While enjoying tea and cakes I got a good chat with the Ullswater Triathlon travellers about their camping adventures over the course of that weekend, and also with the race organisers about whether we could expand the event next year to have a club duathlon. It would certainly attract guests in the same way the HMCC hillclimb does I'm sure. All the times was collated by those who actually had work to do (as opposed to those of us whose job was to sample the various culinary delights) and it was only later, after meeting the C group at St Mary's Marina and eating lunch while watching the German Grand Prix, that the results came through and I found out that my time of 24:51 had got me on the podium! Well done to Chris Green for winning on his Giant Trinity in a time of 24:13 and I'm sure Phil Ellison's out to win the handicap award next year given he did a 24:15 on a road bike with no clip-ons; just imagine if me and him had swapped bikes..........In any case it was a cracking way to finish one of the best months I've ever had, and tomorrow the calendar goes to August and we do it all over again!

Now for the results, brought to you by Chris Green's choice, the Giant Trinity:

Distance: 10.5 miles

Time: 24:51, good enough for 3rd place

Average Speed:40.8kmh/25.5mph

Lorries: 1

Photo Calls: 5, one on each lap

Tiffin Bites Consumed: 4

Men's Champion: Chris Green, 24:13

Ladies Champion: Louise Hogg, 28:07

REJECT OF THE RACE: Mr Down And Out at the bridge crossing

(Surely walking down the road and cheering us on would be safer than the walkway at that time of the morning?)

Only five weeks until we're back at the oval for the HMCC Road Race. Imagine me in one of those lorries ringing the last-lap bell and shouting YOLO............