L is for Lovin' It in Llanrwst

Round 7 of my 2015 race schedule had me up at 5:05am today and out just one hour later to North Wales for the most epic day out I've had since doing my first triathlon back in 2011, as Ruthin Tri Stars hosted the third and final round of the Denbighshire Sprint Series in the scenic backwater town of Llanrwst. I stopped at Northop Hall Services at 7am for a Costa hot chocolate where you now need a receipt code from your order to use the toilet, but at least I wasn't too desperate to find somewhere to relieve myself once I reached the race venue. You put your running shoes at T2 first (passing the best lunch venue in town as you do so, but more on that later) then ride back over the "bont" (bridge) to the swimming pool. At this point my stomach didn't feel like it had travelled too well; maybe I'm giving the Catalan Dragons a run for their money when it comes to better home form than away. Or so I thought! I had some 9bar Carob specials to bail me out and having swallowed a couple of them I could sit inside at race briefing, which was quite brief indeed. Finally, I shook hands with the bloke wearing number 65 and together with my 66 we made our way to Lane 1 for the swim.

The swim is quite an unusual format in that both swimmers start off alongside each other; no doubt I'd stand more chance of doing well if my lane-mate was a) female, b) a skinny-pinny and c) shorter than me, after all I think Lorraine Pascale would be tall enough to run off with my bike........Anyway, this format caused no end of problems as I thought it best to give best to my sparring partner as he opened up a gap of three or four seconds in the early lengths. But then he started to tire and I pulled alongside him, before dropping him altogether after 18 had been completed. Now you're supposed to do 20 lengths of 20 metres and I thought I was on for a PB but the lane counter must have forgotten when we started and only gave the "2 to go" indicator one circuit too late, so in the end we ended up doing 22 lengths! I got out after 440 metres pretty annoyed seeing 8:40 on my watch, but a further fumble was just around the corner as I battled to get my Giro Inciter tri shoes into my rather wet feet. At least this gave me a very fast T1 as I ran round the spiral on the grass and, after only having to deal with a helmet and race belt, I could set off over the car park and into Llanrwst town centre itself.

My first target was Planet-X-Exocet-Plus-FFWD-Disc Man. Good description there, right? Well, he got a break on the Toyota Aygo and Honda HR-V Man, who remained between the pair of us as he was in front of me but struggling to pass my rival. So I drafted the HR-V, waited for him to make his move then pulled alongside the disc wheel saying "he can stay there all day!". Indeed, the first few miles are generally downhill and for large portions of this segment I was average well over 25mph. I thought I was probably exerting myself a bit too much in an effort to get clear track position on my rival so eased the pace a bit before the Tal-Y-Bont turn-off, where you cross both a railway line and the River Conwy, stunning scenery to be enjoyed indeed. On the run south you come across a short steep hill. I know what you're thinking, the chain snapped..........No, instead I changed down as far as 52x21 and heaved the base bar to the top of the rise, before turning left at the junction and plunging down a descent where I reached speeds of over 35mph. The remaining inclines were quite surprising as I didn't know exactly where they were; I guess this is where having the route in your Garmin is a real advantage. However, I did come across a few people from the previous wave including a lady from Chester Tri who I'd been talking to about the upcoming St Helens Triathlon on 13 September. As I passed I said "hello it's me again". Well it's less menacing than "you've been CHINOOK'D" I guess. Now I only had three more miles through Trefirw over the bridge then into Llanrwst itself so with my tyres still holding out despite them being on their first non-TT course I could brake late for the dismount line and roll into T2 having covered the bike course at an average speed of well over 23mph, which would turn out to be faster than the guy who eventually won the race.

T2 was relatively uncluttered what with very few bikes already parked up in the pit lane, so I landed on my rear end, swapped shoes over and headed out round yet another spiral to start the long, punishing climb through Gwydir forest. I picked off one runner before we even reached the water station but the marshals were quite amused to see me lob the water straight over my head. As I approached the turnaround point I saw a young lad showing some real guts and toughness despite the fact that his two legs are probably about as big as one of mine; we would both play a starring role in a real comedy moment on the way back down the hill. For now, it was my job to dodge four little dogs and bludgeon my way to the top of that godforsaken climb; let's just say a few more RUNNING hill circuits might actually be a bit more beneficial than on the bike. On the way back down I came across the dogs again, plus a few people taking on fluid at the drinks station, before catching Mr Twiggy just as we turned out of the forest and reached the road. Of course, I wanted to avoid CHINOOKING him but did my great escape right in front of Audi A6 Man, who was most bemused to see someone trying a shuffle step right across the road as others were actually trying to RUN at the same time. In any case I picked off my rival and used the descent to almost fall down the hill as fast as my legs would carry me. By the time I reached the main road I could hear the cheering at the finish line and the café never smelt so good from 400 metres away so I literally sprinted the final segment to the last corner then down the finishing chute to cross the line in a time of 1:11:15, good enough for 5th on the day and first of the non-GOG Tri Club members, making me fastest Englishman in the west!

After a few nibbles at the finish line I made my way out of T2 with my bike and rolled round to Tu hwnt i'r bont (Café on the Bridge) for the Daily Deal: one thick slice of Welsh Rarebit topped with both cheese and ham, with a jar of mustard to spread on. I was so impressed with the quality of a condiment that I don't generally get on with that I even bought a jar to take home. You got that plus scone, butter, jam and cream AND a put of tea, all for £10 as a race-day deal. Quite why no-one else was taking advantage I'm not sure (though at least a dozen sat inside and ordered other food including chocolate cakes and Victoria sponge) but the clouds were getting ever blacker overhead because the area has a similar microclimate to the Ardennes forest where the Belgian Grand Prix took place today. My tyres were holding out rather better than those on Sebastian Vettel's Ferrari so I rode back to my car in the town centre and put all my stuff away while waiting for the final results to be published and, after having it confirmed to me that I'd equalled my Macclesfield 2014 result and finished within four minutes of the winner (having swam an extra 40 metres to boot) I could drive home in a raging rainstorm after the best ever day out at the race. I urge you all to put this event in your diaries for 2016; indeed at the time of writing there's talk that it will join with the Ruthin and Denbigh events to form a Fylde Tri-Logy-style league. You wouldn't want to miss three rounds of "Racing and Rarebitting" would you?

Now for the results, in association with Tu hwnt i'r bont:

Distances: 400+40m/T1/25km/T2/5km
Times: 9:16.2/38.6/40:28.3/42.9/20:08.9
Final Position: 5/88
Disc Wheels Overtaken: 1
Helpful Hondas: 1
Dogs: 4
Whippersnappers: 1 on the run
Post Race Nutrition: 9/10 (loved every minute of the food, shame they don't have an alcohol licence but I guess two glasses of New Zealand white bump it up to 10 anyway)

REJECT OF THE RACE: Anyone who didn't go to Tu hwnt i'r bont
(Simply put, they missed a treat. When in Wales..........)

Next up: the Dave Hitchen Memorial TT on 5 September. But before that, your turn to take over in Wales from where I left off. Don't ride it, take it!