C is for Chorley CC, Computer Calamity and Cupcake

For the sixth round of my 2016 racing season I made the short trip east to Bickerstaffe tonight for a breezy Tuesday night time trial held against the backdrop of an ever-present threat of rain. I went in and collected number 16 but having been more concerned with how and where to get a warm-up away from the threat of loose chippings I managed to get diverted by Alistair from the LJMU Cycling Team who was having real trouble getting the inner tube on his Fuji Norcom to stop hissing. Eventually Arthur Winstanley saved the day by helping with a replacement inner tube to house inside a very nice looking set of Oval wheels. In fact, this could be a start of Bike Shop Wars if I pull off the move to Rosecroft Close as it's only 25 minutes from Ormskirk into town to get a Norcom of my own. We chatted for a while about his 21st birthday/graduation present from his dad and after he went on his way to warm up (he was number 1 after all) I set about getting myself ready and began with a very sedate run to Ben Lane, and an immediate reverse back to the start line as the majority of the Bickerstaffe Road Race loop was in bits - literally - from the loose chippings which nearly caused the cancellation of tonight's event altogether. After returning to the car to eat two Tesco Granola squares to guard against running out of energy in a high-stress situation I made my way to the start line behind what looked like a Chorley 3-up team effort, to which they remarked "oh no trust us to have you chasing us". I did mention that my season's best was 23:20 and that I didn't exactly see a repeat on the cards tonight, but when the time to go came I flew down the starting ramp and after the green and blacks for 10 miles of pure speed.

The run to the central roundabout was quite speedy but I got blunted at the left-hander on the way down the hill by the first sense that the wind wasn't really blowing its usual direction. Indeed, that would be a theme of the whole night as on the way to the Skelmersdale end of the course it was noticeably at my rear wheel side being a south-westerly, but I wasn't really gaining any time from it. An "inside line close to the kerb" approach saved time at the roundabout but the southerly run to Rainford became a new experience; namely, that it was a straight crosswind and one such gust went straight through my right ear into my left channel and completely knocked me by surprise. This sent me to the base bar to avoid CHINOOKING poor number 13 who must have got the fright of her life when she saw who had already caught up to her, and as such I was quite happy not to see any further riders until the Rainford roundabout at the south end, though it was nice to be cheered on by so many people at the central island. Indeed, the one thing I kept noticing was just how erratic my computer readouts were, as they kept jumping from 17mph to 28mph for no real rhyme or reason except that the sensor itself must be on the way out. Well, lest we forget that the new Speed Concept is out soon in Porsche silver and that's got an embedded sensor so could it be bye-bye Cateye? Normally when you leave the Rainford end of the course it's very much a case of "lights out" as the headwind hits you and you wish you could just stop there and then, but on this occasion I rounded up Number 15 on the Colnago C60 and took him before even reaching the slight downhill prior to the third rendition of Central Island, where the marshals were just as enthusiastic as the timekeepers and push-off man were at the start. From the fast left sweep into Intake Lane it was simply a case of head down and try not to lose any speed over the rough stuff, before adding one last attack in up the final mile to the chequerboard so apologies to Gemma that I didn't wave at her as she set off on her debut Argon E-117 ride (apparently it's much faster than the Sensa road bike she was using, and that's with spacers; imagine how quick she'll go once she's slammed the stem!) but for my part I was sprinting, probably better than I ever have done before, for the finish line, eventually clocking a time of 23:11, far from my best but less than 45 seconds away from Arthur who took the last podium spot. A bit of an improvement considering he beat me by over 90 seconds back in June in the Oven Bowl!

After that it was time to chat to Colnago C60 Man, who was far more relaxed when cooling down than I was as I scoured the start line for remaining rivals but I didn't recognise anyone else so simply rolled into the pit lane to enjoy tea, a biscuit and a cupcake while waiting for Gemma and Diane from St Helens Tri to finish. I also came across Alistair once again who was very happy to have put out another 24 watts compared to last week - what was that you were saying Kevan about not buying new wheels and getting a meter again? Life's too short to..........Anyway, life's rather tougher when everyone knows who you are and you have contacts in 27 different clubs so having got a quick chat in with Arthur and Diane I ran through the car park trying not to get run over when I spotted Mark and Claire Lane, who'd come to support Gemma and probably didn't even know what a St Helens Tri member looks like. Well, now they do. And even better, Mark's contemplating having a go at a 10 - well there's soon to be a Chinook Clearout in Formby in preparation for The Move so don't be surprised to see a 110mm stem and a set of Vision tri-bars available to borrow/buy/NOT steal (a comprehensive alarm system and a specially trained cat with sharpened claws/teeth will "see to you" if you try that one) I couldn't help but notice that Gemma's car seemingly had a BOOM-BOOM-BOOM stereo turned up to max so got entertained by The Prodigy (thanks for bringing back memories of moving up to high school, Inder) which led to a good discussion about radio stations and why Global Radio are rightfully taking over the airwaves in just about every genre of music (Capital/Heart/Smooth/Classic FM, as Kevan would say "something for everyone") By this time it was 8:30pm so it was time to pack up and head for home, and I'd only just finished my beer when the results came through and against all expectations I'd grabbed 7th place in a field of over 45 entrants! Not a bad night's work at all, and that's six more points in my 2016 account to add to the one from St Annes and the 25 from the Miracle on Parbold Hill. Anyone up for a trip to Bickerstaffe on Saturday for the road race?

Now for the results, in association with............GEMMA'S PB-scoring choice, the Argon E-117 (what did you think I was going to pick the Norcom?)

Distance: the usual

Time: 23:11

Final position: 7th

Computer Glitches: at least 10

Chorley CC Riders Overtaken: 2

Post Race Nutrition: 9/10 (Tea and cakes at the finish then fish, potatoes and veg washed down with a Stella. A curry, fish and chips takeaway or pizza would have made it a 10, I'm sure Charlotte disagrees though)

REJECT OF THE RACE: Cateye Computer Sensor

(Insert "life's too short to use s*** computers joke here)

Time to get my head down before a coffee-only fat-burn run tomorrow morning. Good luck to anyone racing at Bickerstaffe on Saturday!