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P is for Perfect Day at Pimbo

Neon Red's picture
on Sun, 06/09/2015 - 21:26

A lot of us were up bright and early this morning, in some cases as early as 5:15am. For my part I left the house at ten past six to get to McD's in Ormskirk for a breakfast wrap and coffee. I then tailgated Mark and Claire Lane in their Skoda Octavia all the way to Glenburn Sports College, trying to drive as fast as possible round the corners to make up for the car's lack of engine power on the straights. We arrived just after 7am and had a quick look at the start list. After digesting the illustrious list of names and mused over whether we actually had a chance to beat the VCUK team and win our own race I joined Steve, DNA and Paul in setting up the gazebo. You can see why I never made it to the Boy Scouts as the others had far more skills in how to raise the b****r up but at least Mark Brownett appreciated my recommendation of the breakfast wrap as we jumped in his Zafira and made our way to the connie, or more specifically the McD's drive-through. The Sunday early riser staff still managed to stuff up one part of the order (a cappuccino plus two lattes NOT three lattes please) but we returned to base in good spirits just as the first few riders were warming up near the start/finish line. I then set about assembling the lap counter only to forget it came with an actual stand so at least there was no need for me to sit on the damp grass to change the number on the board. Finally, with the riders assembled the clerk of the course gave his safety speech (which didn't extend to Rick Taylor's epic fail on his rollers - cycle ones that is not of the hair variety) and at 9:30am, bang on cue, the 57 starters were sent on their way and the biggest day in HMCC history kicked off for real. Here's a report with a difference, the PLF (Pimbo Lapwatch Fanzine)

Lap 1: Three riders tried to get things ramped up early doors, including a VCUK member, a Century man and, you guessed it, Rick Taylor. Unfortunately Lap 1 would also bring us the first DNF as a Century man aboard an S-Works Venge didn't even make it to the end of the first tour before his KMC 11-speed chain snapped. This meant he enjoyed the attentions of Paul the mechanic while I discussed Shiv sizing (he was aboard a 58 Venge so think he'd like a large, maybe him and Kevan could swap numbers?) and after that I left him to stare longingly at the shortbreads in the box on the table. Oh, and I shifted the number board from 21 to 20.

Lap 2: The break was now up to 6 riders, Rick was still there. A few more people arrived on the opposite side of the road.

Lap 3: Rick was now in third, but to all intents and purposes the pack was back together which had Tom Hanlon already contemplating a move towards the front. Most of the other HMCC riders were towards the rear of the pack at this stage.

Lap 4: The race was effectively back to square one but of greater note was the appearance of James and Sophie, who had the baby with them. He even had his own hi-vis vest! And if only I'd left the lap board six inches off the ground I could have left him to that job and continued interviewing any famous spectators who'd arrived in the meantieme, including Kev Murphy, Linsey and Garry Lyon, and one of Linsey's teammates from the Racing Chance Foundation.

Lap 5: Two Kuota riders tried a team time trial to get away from the pack and two other riders were not far behind. Rick had given up his attempts to lap the field by halfway and was now pulling Andrew Disley closer to the front in readiness for the possibility of a decisive early attack for the first sprint points.

Lap 6: In a foretaste of things to come, VCUK moved towards the front and eventually started giving the Kuotas a hard time. We didn't know it at this point, but this was a precursor to an outstanding display of sprint speed from one of their young talents who only had 52x14 to work with - which was also the SMALLEST gear I used yesterday at the Rainford 10! I wasn't lying before the race when I said my legs are too big for this sort of thing was I?

Lap 7: Unlike the ongoing Chinook vs An Army Of Wasps stoush going on at the flapjack box, the action on the track was surprisingly civilised as the bunch prepared for the first sprint, but a middle-aged bloke on a basic aluminium Trek was going for it. A bit too early though..........

Lap 8: And BANG it all went off! Ryan Ashcroft took the first sprint ahead of a Liverpool Century 2-3 with Rick Taylor fifth over the line. You have to wonder whether the Century could have challenged for the win if they hadn't lost the rider with the snapped chain, but already it was clear that the metronomic pace of the race was only going to rise and result in a mass of drop-outs in the crucial middle stanza.

Lap 9: Darren from Bill Nickson Cycles made a move with Rob Shirley leading the bunch, somewhat confusing to see an HMCC rider aboard a VCUK-liveried team bike. One high-profile defection to that Chorley powerhouse is more than enough, no?

Lap 10: Tom was now revelling in the role of lead HMCC rider and was stringing it out on the front, though two of our members were falling off the back and the peloton as a whole was starting to get a little fragmented. Around this time I got a few words out of Linsey about the remarkably civilised Bickerstaffe road race yesterday; apparently it was a crash-free zone. Would all the riders stay upright for a whole weekend?

Lap 11: Eddie O'Brien, a longtime Southport CC Downhill extroadinaire, made a move off the front driving a gear which looked huge even to me. Was he the Coveryourcar rider in disguise from yesterday's 10 who left me standing still as I was doing 32mph en route to Mossborough Island? On the same lap Alan pulled over in his Focus having given an excellent effort in his first open road race. Meanwhile, Tom Hanlon was still pushing on in the top 3.

Lap 12: It was all back together again but the Century Venge Owners Club headed by Declan Wilson started to push the pace out front, Tom was now down to 4th.

Lap 13: Charlie Critchley's dad made an appearance and it was good to catch up with him after not seeing him on a ride for a while. He was with two Kuota juniors from the High on Bikes racing team, both aboard Kuota Kougars. At around the same time Dave Williams rolled into town aboard a Kougar of his own. Got to think there's a market out there for Kawasaki green tyres..........

Lap 14: One group of four plus a chasing pair tried to string it out and decimate the chasers approaching the second sprint lap, and it seemed to be having the desired effect with the bunch getting smaller and more spread out.

Lap 15: Fancy seeing you out front Martyn Gordon! He was in first with Tom still giving it everything in the top three. Meanwhile a Walkers lorry invaded the course in between the peloton and the growing list of individuals just touring round by now. To park or not to park? Apparently that's down to the chief comms as they will decide whether or not you should be allowed to get swallowed up. As one of them pointed out, they can't just finish "2 laps down" in the Olympic 10,000 metres on the track.

Lap 16: SPRINT TIME NO. 2! Once again Ryan Ashcroft took first plac, perhaps at an awkward time as a few riders were now getting lapped. VCUK obviously read the situation better tahn anyone as they got another rider in the top 5, and Dan the Camera Man was there to take the picture at just the right time. Nice work, Dan.

Lap 17: Dave Williams shifted over to our side of the road with a frame fit pump that almost looked too long for his suitably large top tube. More importantly, an eight-man breakaway was winding things up for the win and none of our riders were in it. Time to change things up methinks..........

Lap 18: The lead bunch was now up to around a dozen srong men, with Andrew Disley leading the main field and trying to get close to the leaders. The next lap would prove absolutely critical in this regard.

Lap 19: A couple of lapped riders were now retiring to save mileage in their legs but more importantly Andrew had joined the leaders! Could the dream finish still be on?

Lap 20: Disley was now on the front! It looked more like through and off than a dogfight but I suppose if nothing else it pretty much guarantees you a place among the point-scorers at the end of the race. Which probably explains part of how the Dizzler has gone from 4th to 1st cat in one year..........

Lap 21: Steve Warner arrived together with Joe and Margie. Three very posh bikes to be drooled over, comprising a Wilier, a De Rosa and an S-Works. They were suitably unsurprised to see me dipping into the box of shortbreads, and suitably impressed that I shut the ever growing army of wasps out of feeding time. But hang on a minute, that's a bell I can see over there. It's YOLO TIME!

Lap 22: DANG-A-LANG-A-LANG as the peloton passed the start line for the final time to begin the biggest lap of all, the final one. I did try shouting "EVERYONE MUST ATTACK" before forgetting that I was standing right new to the very bell I was making a lot of noise with. The atmosphere was electric as Andrew moved to the left coming down the home straight. in the end he did the club proud finishing well within the lead breakaway as Ryan Ashcroft managed to spin his 52x14 much faster than those of us who rely on 52x11 (no names please) to take a thoroughly deserved clean sweep of the honours, with Rick, Tom, Luke and Rob all finishing in the main field for HMCC and the remaining riders having pulled off. But a cracking race was enjoyed by all.

PLF time over. Ye gods.

After that it was time to jump in Paul's Transit van. It must have looked like one of the scenes out of Black Hawk Down as the HMCC road race crew scrambled for a seat aboard what must have looked like a selection of army vehicles but upon arriving back at Glenburn we were treated to a cracking selection of cakes, including Claire's red velvet cake and boozy flapjack, Rhian's generous slice of Victoria sponge and an uncredited-for chocolate slice and ginger cake. Just about the worst lunch ever in terms of elite triathlete nutritional value (Peter Gaskell must be incredibly impressed reading this after his win at Edge Hill today) but hey. who's counting calories or sugar content when the race is over, and the standard of the cakes was far better than what we got in terms of leftovers at the time trial yesterday. I look forward to seeing how today's baking can possibly be improved upon for next year's events. After that it was time to award the prizes to the top six finishers, before bombing it back home to help the family with a bit of heavy lifting for their "gardening supplies" and also to watch the Italian Grand Prix. And as soon as the race was over I bombed it back over the moss to Ormskirk so I could join the HMCC Race Team Support Crew for a pint in the Bier Shoppe plus a packet of Black Pudding flavoured crisps. Eventually seven of us went down the road to JUNK where we consumed yet more drink and come 5:15pm it was time to head our separate ways and eat our Sunday dinners. Cobbs Brow or Clieves Hill next year I wonder?

Now for the results, brought to you by today's race hosts, the soon-to-be-closed Glenburn Sports College:

Distance: 80km

Total Race Time: can't have been much more than 90 minutes

Winner: Ryan Ashcroft, VCUK

Top HMCC Rider: Andrew Disley

Combativity Award: Rick Taylor

Walkers Lorries: 1

Tractors: 2

Personal Nutrition Rating: 1/10 (one point for eating a bit of protein at breakfast, but even that came from the golden arches. Still, who cares when the cakes were that good)

REJECT OF THE RACE: HMCC Road Race Catering Team, Yellow Stripes Division

(That's a joint award to McD's in the connie for forgetting my cappuccino, and the wasps for trying to make the flapjack box their home)

And finally..........

A massive thank you and well done to Howard Walker for overcoming an unending list of logistical hurdles to put today's race on, and also to everyone who raced, marshalled and simply supported the various races on offer this weekend. Also many thanks to the baking team, even if I did go a bit silly when loading my plate (nothing new there) and also to the school for allowing us to take the place over for the day. Clieves Hill circuit with the Scarisbrick Gastropub for next year, anyone?

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