Good Things Come in Threes: MSA, EKA and TAA

A bright, cold and frosty autumn morning attracted around 45 to the shop for the 9am start. A C/D contingent formed to ride the local lanes while a short B and long B option was offered for those wanting to make a day out of it. That left 13 people up for the Race and A rides, one of whom has been away running, watching rugby and getting next stage business plans together (hence the second acronym) and another who would later wish he'd conscripted me into writing a risk assessment dissertation in exchange for a trip to the Pyrenees. He would lead the ride out of town, with a tiptoe round the cricket club.

TRUST THIS GUY TO RUN A BUSINESS? HE CAN'T EVEN STAY UPRIGHT

I was very nervous first time back after a while away and was mindful of the fact that one off would ruin the new work contract I've just been awarded. As such me and John Pout were snaking all over Altys Lane trying to get some traction and the power down while others yanked on the handlebars with their four inch wide tyres. This lasted all the way to the Dog and Gun whereby a left turn had us on a rather more straightforward path to Bickerstaffe followed by the left at the Derby Arms for Simonswood. It was good to catch up with Ian Gallagher who together with me must be in a running battle to see how long we can stretch our winter bikes out for - when I got mine in December 2008 George W Bush was still running the United States! These two bikes would move up a little as we approached Simonswood, but as we rounded the right hander at the farm buildings the unthinkable happened: John Faz with his fat tyres slid off, Paul Moy followed him in an episode of BOOM TIMES TWO and John Pout so nearly got CHINOOK'D as I locked up the brakes, leaned the front wheel against his seat stay and JUST saved 12 months worth of upcoming work from going down the toilet. This led to a load of jokes about "how can you trust this guy" and "has he done his risk assessment" also "life's too short to ride s*** tyres" but at least it wasn't someone else landing on me given that my body mass index is the same as Dua Lipa. We only needed a few New Rules in place for the next segment, the main one being "careful round the corners". It's just as well we never ended up anywhere near Warrington as my new team would probably have freaked out big-stylee seeing The Yellow Helmet wobble past and indeed I was a bag of nerves, at this point credit goes to Rob Shirley who made me think "yes I'll survive this". And so we did, riding through Kirkby and towards the East Lancs for Knowsley and Huyton, although a Kia Picanto drove far too close to us and nearly took us out! It's not even a car with a big rear end like an Aygo.........Anyway we crossed the M57 and set sail for St Helens, via Knowsley Safari Park.

WHO WANTS A PISS STOP? NOT OUTSIDE THE INDUSTRIAL ESTATE?

We continued to Eccleston and it was here that me and Steve Depport took over the front for a bit all the while looking for the perfect place to pull over. Along the way I spotted Mike Forber from St Helens Tri who led the men's team home yesterday at the cross country in Bagley while I was doing the war music gig in Ellesmere Port. We swooped down the descent and tiptoed over the Eccleston roundabout where Paul Moy tried to go up the inside and stick me in the centre (cue jokes about not much vegan meat in that sandwich). Shortly afterwards we turned right towards the Abbey Hotel and it was just after the new build development that we got our chance to lighten the load before Moss Bank. This was an excellent opportunity to shovel down a banana for extra rocket fuel and it would pay dividends on the climb itself. Rob Shirley and the f***ing legend/crashmaster took off at the beginning but there was little doubt that John Hill would boss the second half and so he did, taking the win with ease. Colin Clark put in a spirited recovery and almost sneaked past me at the death, but I held on for 4th place. At the bottom of the descent we turned left for Billinge and on the rise past the ice cream shop a few of the powerful/skinny (one or both as appropriate) snaked away leading to a big split between the top 5 and the remaining riders. Thankfully there were no more such issues on the rolling road past the hotel towards Orrell then Gathurst though a white Vauxhall Astra did its best to put some of us into the bridge railings upon commencing the climb. This ascent would be quite uneventful all the way to the co-op, but then the true spirit of the day would shine through at the next crossing.

HMCC SALUTE TO SERVICE, AVEC MOTORBIKE MAN

As we crossed the mini roundabout it became apparent that the police were closing the road, with good reason; it was 11am. We didn't hear the Last Post but it was certainly a fitting tribute to those who gave their lives to allow us to live ours. A few minutes later and a few degrees cooler, we tailgated Motorbike Man for all of three seconds until the massive engine known as FAZ couldn't quite draft him any longer and we settled into our rhythm all the way to the M6 junction. I'd had this point in mind as a possible bail out option but now I was thinking I could make it all the way to Croston. Sure enough the pace kicked on past the Endurance Store and towards Eccleston, where someone with the best sense in helmet colours (PINK) came the other way on his Ribble while Dave Atkinson made an early dart to get to work. We rounded up a couple of tourists on the road after the humpback bridge as we turned for Midge Hall and the Texaco, before turning left for the final dash to Croston.

NO WAY WOULD MATT BRING HIS "MEDIUM" CIPOLLINI HERE EVEN IF THE COFFEE WAS FREE

As we turned up the pace it became apparent that we didn't have far to go and I said to Steve Depport that it had gone better than expected for a return ride. Maybe it's being as disciplined as Chelsy from the C group with regards to food intake? Hold my vegan donuts he said........I'll eat one of them after finishing the report, but for now we crossed the railway line and turned left for the new favourite cafe where sausages of various descriptions were the order of the day, mine being vegan of course, but a fair few waffles were being consumed by riders from other clubs and I'm surprised no one went for one of them. Must be the Game Changers effect! As soon as we'd been fed we got going again to get our second training session done, get the best seats in the house, or both.

REBOOT COMPUTER HE SAID, NO CAN DO HE SAID

As we set off back over the bridge John Faz decided to pass the whole group on the pavement with his tractor tyres and this paid off brilliantly as he was in prime position to unleash hell on the way Rufford. I was OK with the first part but a combination of looking in the rear view mirror for Stephen Graham plus an abject failure to get the heart going again put paid to any chances down the stretch (I've had this problem at Penny Lane Striders when taking group 2; fly on the beast mode efforts, valve doesn't close properly on the recoveries. At least there aren't any cafe stops on a half Ironman so I'll have to keep going). So I rolled past the old hall and straight down the A59 where I parked up at Booths for a few clementines off the boom counter and set about doing the photo album for the day, even meeting someone from a local music society while I was there! Ten minutes, 51p and a good chat later I set off once again, this time with absolutely no leg power or valve pressure whatsoever, down the A59 and up over the hill before parking up at home around 1:15pm. And after a 40 minute strength workout at Edge Hill Sport, it was off to the Old Post Office, the only place in town to watch football, and witness epic awesomeness from Trent Alexander-Arnold in destroying Raheem Sterling as the red men pulled 8 points clear of their nearest challengers (Leicester and Chelsea, can't make it up can you) and then head for home and a BOL curry nabbed on the cheap from Sainsbury's last night. What a return day, now onto next weekend's big challenge!

Now for the results, in association with Mountain Slayer Adventures:

Distance: 81.71km
Time: 2:46:39
Average Speed: 29.42kmh
Sunday Drivers: 2
Crashes: 1
Sticky Cleats: 1 after the cafe
Pink Garments: 2 worn by Navy Boy plus the pink helmet man in Eccleston
Sausages consumed:Two at the cafe then three more HECKS at home (sausage overload they said)

REJECT OF THE RIDE: John Faz's Tyres
(Widest ones in the group and he binned it)

Enjoy the ride next week, I won't be there as I'm joining Lynchy at the Cumbrian Cracker. Think I'm set for the winter - no fast reboot after the cafe stop anymore, just Booths Booms!