P is for Pianoman Perfection in Prestwich - A Rhapsody for Great Manchester

So summer is over, despite weather reports to the contrary. The cross country trips to Wales, Nottingham, Fleetwood and Kendal have given way to cross country of a different definition, namely the Manchester Cross Country League at Heaton Park. I've not been to Manchester since the last round of the 2016/17 season at Woodbank Park (the one where my phone was giving me directions in my pocket all the way round the course) but a lot has happened in this great city in the interim eight months. I didn't write much in the immediate aftermath of the Arena attack as I didn't want to be seen to be talking about politics in the run-up to the General Election but it was spooky in the extreme to drive around the M60 ring road yesterday and see the signs for the city centre; how many cars came this way on May 22 never to return the other way? I never thought that a simple car journey would be so tough to cope with (and just to make this even harder some idiot had bisected the central reservation on my preferred route forcing me to go the long way round). As such I almost didn't make it to the start in time; I parked up at 2:05pm and set about a long, arduous trek to the race venue (but the geese and ducks in the lake were really cute) and after picking up my race number from Lee Stinch I got a few pointers about the course conditions from Louise and Myka, who were first and second club counters for St Helens Tri in the ladies race. It turned out that this race was still finishing off when 2:30 arrived and with the threat of heavy traffic and the main event in Heswall later I thought passing a few backmarkers on my own first lap would be less troublesome than having to set off any speed cameras on the M56 westbound to Ellesmere Port so was perfectly happy to line up in the starting area, think things over quietly to myself, and then think "LET'S GO AND SMASH THIS". And what a race it turned out to be.

Set of by a starting gun as is now customary, the first descent had over 400 hardy athletes plummeting down the descent to the Tarmac crossing and then the grassy knoll where some people were already shooting. With a camera, in case you were wondering. It was impossible to make out where all our runners were but I spotted Michael Forber up ahead and Kev Dunbar making some good early moves up the pack particularly in the technical sections. The first of these would destroy a shoe plate on lap 2 but the most entertaining one was through the woods after the first pair of footie pitches where the entire field had to queue through dense woodland, tree stumps and muddy ledges proliferating at a remarkable rate per ten metres. This sent some of us through stinging nettles trying to cover our eyes while I uncontrollably let out a round of "F*** THIS" just to keep the fans happy while wondering if using the Little Mix methodology for kit choice really was the best idea; normally it's so wet and windy I look like I'm out in the fells of the Lake District but the temperature was nudging 20c and as such overheating was more of a concern. We completed the first lap and I was starting to make up a bit of ground on Michael Forber, at least when I didn't have to jump over a huge log or struggle with the off-camber mud. Only trouble was, I knew Michael and Kev were experts at strength based races (the pair having both cracked the top 20 at the Kirkby 10 miler last week) and as such I was more thinking about holding off the likes of Che and Patrick to consolidate 5th place.

But in what was turning out to be a bizarre race, I'd just passed Emma Timson with the tablet/camera at the JFK point on lap 2 when suddenly Michael pulled up. I shouted "are you alright?" and by what response I thought I heard him say I was under the impression that he'd twisted his ankle. It turned out later that his shoe plate had worked loose giving his Saucony XC spikes no competition for the Reject award. Meanwhile, what was now a battle of speed vs strength for the final podium slot was closing, ever so slightly, segment by segment, but I kept losing time to Kev on all the technical sections and as such, with lots of great handling XC specialists around me I wondered if the best strategy was just to concede the situation and play it tactically to help us get as many points as possible, as in pass them on the flat then try not to lose positions in the twisty, narrow sections. This theme continued into the last lap when the gap was down to a handful of seconds and various runners ahead were visibly tiring. By now Michael Forber had got going once again and instead of worrying about Che or Patrick I was now more conscious that he might make a late bid to re-take the lost places from before so the tactics of "closely to Kev in the footie pitches then block the others in the woodland" remained the status quo. As we got out of the last bit of woodland for the final time I knew it was engine power all the way but I still saw Kev about five seconds ahead. Then came the most unlikely dash for the line ever and the most thrilling finish all year which probably shaded the 2013 Dog-Gate in Lytham for the best ever, if only because I couldn't have picked a better day to do it. As we hit the steepest part of the long hill to the finish I got ahead of Kev but there was more to come, as six runners up the road completely went to pieces and as such we nicked half a dozen points for the league! My final time was 42:08, with Eddie Hirst running brilliantly ahead to edge out Mark Turner for first club counter and Michael Forber so nearly catching Kev on the line in undoubtedly the best XC finish in St Helens Tri history.

After sitting on the ground for a few minutes we watched the remaining runners come in, 16 from our club in all, who picked up some points for the league championship series. We returned to the gazebo for tea and cakes (or in my case a hot Vimto and a couple of gluten free treats) before discussing topics such as the evening concert and Leeds triathlon weekend 2018. I walked back with Mark from Helsby running club who no longer take part in the MACCL and then high-tailed it down the M56 to Total Fitness in Prenton to get a shower, then on to the Johnny Pye in Heswall for a chicken curry that Ranvir the political expert would no doubt approve of (oh hang on a minute I can't talk about politics can I) before enjoying an epic concert at Heswall Hall where, in yet another connection to Great Manchester, orchestral items such as Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet and the Shostakovitch Jazz Suite (featuring my good mate Danny Townley) were the supporting cast to the piece de resistance, Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue performed by John Gough, my piano teacher of a decade ago, brought the house down as the soloist and he even saw me in the bar afterwards with a pint of Becks, see nothing has changed in ten years has it..........Come 10pm it was time to head home but what a day, the best since the "Miracle on Ice 2" in the rainstorm at Widnes Park, and who knows, with a half Ironman on tap for 2018, could the Heaton Park result prove to be even more significant in the long run?

Now for the results, in association with the Johnny Pye, Heswall:

Distance: 9.82km
Time: 42:08
Final Position: 137 out of 414 finishers
Senior Entrants: 7 ladies plus 16 men, a club record
Steeplechase Jumps: 3
Dead Shoe Plates: 1
Shooters on the Grassy Knoll: 1, Emma Timson plus Wayne Fisher on the home straight
Post Race Nutrition: 10/10 (Chicken curry at the Johnny Pye then a pint of Becks at the concert venue)

REJECT OF THE RACE: Michael Forber's Shoe Plate
(But his misfortune did serve up the best final straight sprint finish in St Helens Tri history, the only thing missing was the band)

Time to get ready for today's gig in Eastham. Good luck to those doing the HMCC hillclimb or the Manchester Half Marathon!