The Cross Country Curtain Raiser - South Manchester Sahara Edition

Given how many storm warning have been issued over the last few days you would have expected an absolute mudbath if attempting any off road racing, whether on foot or on mountain bikes. However, while the coast got a battering from squally showers on Saturday, Wythenshawe Park in Manchester was unseasonably warm, and even dey like the desert, if still rather windy and overcast, almost like a year ago when the Sahara dust cloud descended on the UK. This was quite a new experience for those of us who'd got used to freezing rain and mud for XC and yet the first round of the Manchester Cross Country League attracted over 700 senior racers, including nearly 450 in the men's race. The ten St Helens Tri ladies were just finishing their race as I arrived at 2:05pm including Cheryl Pace, another Penny Lane Striders member who's now got a membership at both clubs. She was brilliant in holding off Myka Heard and Lynette Houghton for the early lead in the club championship and was back well before the men had done their group photo. As we walked over to the start line we couldn't help but notice how dry the grass was making some of us wonder if our trademark straight line speed could be used to full effect for once, and that would become quite a factor 40 minutes later(is there even a cross country league in Egpyt?) For now, I positioned myself on the right side of the fifth row of the starting grid with my new Brooks Mach 18 in orange and pink looking perfectly clean (that couldn't last could it?) and with the clock now nudging 2:30pm the horn sounded and we were on our way for three laps of Wythenshawe Park.

It's not often I get off to a good start at a cross country race but I was into my stride surprisingly quickly. Clearly that decision to go for a mile swim before work had fired the blood flow up in good time and I was able to profit before we'd even reached the woods, as the bridge crossing, the feared "flagpole" zone and the trip towards the second, metal bridge had me up to third St Helens counter in the early going. In front of me a cracking battle was developing between Colin Dobbs and Michael Forber, with Colin already starting to edge away. For my part I was only concerned with holding off Kevin Dunbar and keeping my third place but the first challenge in that regard was the tunnel run through the trees. This wasn't as long as in previous years but you turned left then over a series of tree roots, two tight right handers and a couple of mini ditches. This led to my usual round of "f*** this" which was probably just what a kid who looked younger than me thought just up the road. His head was rocking sideways even once we'd got out of the woods, and just as I was lining him up for a pass, Buxton Midget Man pulled alongside him at which point he said "yes I'm a student"........hang on a minute you're trying to do XC under the influence? Anyone whose balance off road is worse than mine is asking for trouble. Anyway, the University of Manchester kid (running in purple) was dispatched and eventually so too was the Buxton dwarf despite getting CHINOOK'D twice on the backstraight before the first bridge. The next position was occupied by Michael Forber and I  didn't want to hold him up in the technical section so I assured him that the Red Bull WINGS plan was on, especially for log jumps, of which we had to do two every lap. So I did a bit on the front as expected by John Faz before deferring at the first downhill ditch dive. As we passed the pit and paddock area for the second time the St Helens Tri fans were cheering us ever louder and so was a guy with a Cannondale CAAD12 in bright red. Obviously being off road meant he was delighted to have the disc version, as approved by some roofer from Scarisbrick. So onto the last lap we went, with Colin impossible to catch but me generally going quicker than Michael. The balance of power was slowly shifting my way but I simply can't deal with the mud paths and as such I came out of the last ditch nearly ten seconds in arrears. In addition some old guy from Sale Harriers was groaning as I passed him, only to have him chase after me upon hitting the straight where the fans were based. It must be the crowd atmosphere that makes the difference, then. I started to wind up my YOLO effort a couple of straights early but it looked like being to no avail as others were also seriously shifting. That was, of course, until the "20 seconds to go" corner where some people's legs ran out of straight line speed. In last year's season opener, I overtook Kev Dunbar with around 300 metres to go on the long straight to the finish at Heaton Park. I also passed six other runners so at least I didn't have to feel like I'd stolen points just for me. This time Michael Forber was the next target to pass and I thought "can I pass anyone else, if not I should let him finish ahead". That's not what the John Faz in me said, not today or on the ten mile run I did on Thursday when I imagined he was riding alongside me on the fat bike and ordering me to push through absolute agony. It paid off as in a last second winning move the infamous Stanford Band would approve of (go and look it up, it's the funniest American Football play ever) I also claimed two more runners and eventually finished in 39:37 good enough for 136th place from 437 finishers and second St Helens member home, my best result in nearly three years of cross country!

After that it was time for team de-briefs on how someone who can't stay in a straight line on rough stuff can simply go full BADASS with 400 metres to go, I'd ask Charlotte Newton about that one, after all it's all about the #musclegainz. We enjoyed tea and coffee, and even better, Ben James had brought rice milk for vegans and someone else had a tube of Pringles, which were grabbed immediately by GUESS WHO. Having devoured most of the tube I managed to get lost on the way back to the car before eventually returning to the correct car park, driving to Total Fitness Aintree for a quick shower and then on to Southport for the Salvation Army proms concert. Here, I was on the piano while RIBI young musician champion Angelina Dorlin-Barlow performed six songs. She once again brought the house down much to her surprise (she wasn't expecting the opera aria to go so well, a bit like me at the XC) but sometimes what you improve at means more than simply excelling at the things you're good at, despite the best efforts of a lady wearing purple to disrupt things with a hideous phone ringtone (SWITCH IT OFF.......) What a brilliant weekend, new MTB Friday followed by my best ever cross country on Saturday and a terrific gig to boot!

Now for the results, brought to you by the Salvation Army:

Distance: 9.2km
Time: 39:37
Final Position: 136/437, 2/16 in the St Helens Tri race
Log Jumps: 6
John Faz Bikes: One CAAD12
Post Marathon Nutrition: 10/10 (Hummus on toast, salad, fruit and a can of Brewdog Punk IPA)

REJECT OF THE RACE: Purple Pillocks
(That's a joint award to the sambuca fuelled student at the XC and the idiot at the gig who forgot to switch their ringtone off)

That's me done for the day. Good luck to everyone doing the Parbold/Lancaster/Bedford duathlons or Manchester half marathon tomorrow!